


Up From Darkness

by jesseofthenorth



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:43:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/186098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesseofthenorth/pseuds/jesseofthenorth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The end of an investigation hits Steve.</p><p>Written for H50_flashfic Beginnings and Endings challenge at Livejournal</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up From Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Written for H50_flashfic Beginnings and Endings challenge at Livejournal

They end this investigation, really end it, the way they have so many others before, on the lanai with not quite too many Longboards. It might not be the best way to decompress, in the long run, but tonight no one is thinking of the long run. Tonight they are not thinking at all. Everything about this case took them too close to the edge and Steve at least is contemplating a series of near misses that nearly got everyone around him killed. He knows it isn't technically his fault but there is still guilt underneath the relief he feels.  
As Chin pours Kono into a cab Steve tells them “Take the week ” and goes back inside to gather up the detritus from their decompression. Beer bottles and take out containers and Danny's tie and eventually Danny, passed out on a deck chair.  
“Come on tough guy” Steve says and hauls his passed-out friend and partner to his feet and drags him in the general direction of the guest room. Danny floats near enough to the surface of consciousness to make it to the bed and passes out while Steve takes his shoes off for him and rolls Danny closer to the middle of the bed so he doesn't roll off in his sleep. Listening to him bitch when he fell out of bed last time took a lot of the fun out of needling him about it. Guy that moves around that much at night must be a nightmare to sleep with Steve thinks absently and denies the undertone of wistfulness as he leaves the room.

He patrols the house top to bottom before finding his bed. Locking up, picking up empties, and plugging his phone in. Steve is on auto-pilot by the time he makes upstairs. Done in by too little sleep over too much time and the adrenaline dump when it all went down. He is glad the beer was just enough to take the edge off and no more. He needs rest, not a hangover. Needs this week and especially this day to be over.  
He's deliberately thinking only of the sound of the waves rolling in outside his window. Not the sounds of heavy gunfire and almost losing most of the people that mean anything to him. He drifts down toward sleep willing it to be tomorrow, ready for it to be the end of this day and the beginning of another.

 _The pack on his back is heavy but that is nothing new. It always is, no matter were they have been inserted. Once the adrenaline burn of the insertion has worn down a bit his focus will become wider not so concentrated on making it to the LZ clean. The last piece of equipment has been silently loaded onto the last mans back when all hell breaks loose. The burned out village that is supposed to be deserted is suddenly full of hostiles and a burst of gunfire is the only warning. The street abruptly fills with screaming terrified civilians and what was meant to be a neat drop ,in a moment or two, has descended into the worst cluster-fuck he has ever been a part of. There are mortars coming in and tracer rounds flying in all directions. McGarrett is unsure if anyone in his squad has gotten off a single round. Somewhere he can here a baby screaming. A baby for Christs sake! What the fuck is a baby doing here in this burned out wreck of a town? He is waving his people back thinking to get better cover at least, pulling them back as a group he needs to keep his team within eyesight to keep them safe. He has barely enough time to think of the new guy Sanders before they are taking heavy fire. After that things come apart fast. He feels the concussion of a close-at-hand explosion and feels the ragged shrapnel hit him. He hears Sanders scream “Oh FUCK! I'm-”and whatever else he was screaming is cut short. McGarrett  tries to get eyes on sergeant-major and does so just in time to watch him blown apart by incoming artillery. Tracers are going off and some moron is shooting an RPG of at weird intervals in random directions. One lands too close to him and he is blown back into a wall . He has time to think “No Fuck! I got them all killed-”_

And suddenly he is gasping in the dark choking on blood that hasn't been in his throat for 4 years. He sits up fast and knocks all the pillows to the floor completely disoriented by the half dark and the pillows and going from artillery and flares and dust and blood and sweat and screams and white hot pain and terror- To the semi dark and quiet and stillness so disorienting he is sure something must be waiting in it for him. He hears a footfall beyond the wall and fumbles in the dark beside the bed knowing his gun must be there somewhere close. He rolls off the bed and onto his feet fast and finds a drawer half on instinct and half some blurry memory he can't quite pull up. Thank god there it is, his pistol cold and merciless in his hand. Then there is a silhouette in the door-way of the room – what room is this? where am i ?- and a voice calling “Hey Steve you OK?” and he uses the voice to locate his target and finds the trigger- and suddenly the light comes on and – It's Danny.

“Fuck! Jesus fuck McGarrett What the hell?!” Danny gapes at the muzzle of the gun levelled at his chest.  
“Shit!” Steve gasps and drops the killing stance he held “ Shit Danny! Sorry! Fuck!” he falls abruptly back intothe reality of his childhood home, miles from that burning hell were everyone died but him. He throws the gun on the bed and backs away from it as if to distance himself from the realization that he almost shot - “ Fuck Danny I'M SORRY” Steve says and stumbles back another step. His legs weak and shaking from the terror then and now. He drops when the backs of his knees hit something , hopes it will take the weight of his collapse.  
He pulls in a ragged breath can hear it feels it tearing at his throat but there is not enough air and he feels- “Shit Steve!” Danny says close by, a hand on Steve's shoulder making him flinch. “Are you OK man?” and there he is crouched right down in front of Steve ad all Steve can think is “ I almost shot you! Danny! Fuck” He bites down on it clenches his eyes shut trying to lock it out but that only makes it easier to see in his minds eye the blood blooming across Danny's chest from where Steve fucked up again.  
“Hey Steve man it's OK! You didn’t! I'm OK” Danny grabs his wrist even though a fully sane man wouldn't touch Steve right now, wound as tight as he is. He is trying to offer some comfort , an anchor, but the touch of Danny's hand isn't calming for Steve, not in this moment. Steve tries to jerk his hand away, closes his eyes again as a means of escape.  
“ Hey Steve. Buddy” Danny says and his hand is on the back of Steve’s neck then holding him there as well, anchoring him that way “It's OK. We're OK. You were dreaming it's fine.”  
“I almost shot you” Steve says again almost a whisper, meaning I'm sorry.  
“ Yeah well, you didn't. I'm fine. See? Steve? Look, I'm fine” he waits a moment and then demands “Look! Open your eyes!” and Steve does it without thinking obeying the order in the tone. His eyes snap open and he finds himself looking directly into Danny's crisp blue eyes. Danny looks so worried, he searches Steve's eyes for something .  
Steve realizes the worry is all for him. Danny is worried about him after what he almost did “ I'm fine !” he barks and moves as though to stand. He needs to get away from the look in Danny's eyes, doesn't know if he can hold up under the scrutiny.  
“I think you need to look that word up in the dictionary Steve. I'm pretty sure you are using it wrong. You are a lot if things right here in this moment but I am one hundred percent certain fine is not one of them” he doesn’t let go his grip on Steve’s neck and does not move back out of his space. In fact he clamps his hand onto one of Steve's legs and now Steve is well and truly anchored because Danny is holding him there and holding him together.

Steve takes a deep breath.  
He stops trying to get away and tries to remember how to breath to clear his mind and just ... let's him. Let's Danny secure him to the earth again. Breaths deep and lets the dream recede. deeply completely grateful that it was all just a dream and did not get any worse.  
After a few minutes like that, although Steve with his well honed internal clock couldn't say how long, feels the last of the dream (nightmare-- memory) fade. And everything around him comes into tighter focus.  
Especially Danny's hand on the back of his neck and warm breath on his cheek from where Danny has at some point leaned in close. Steve tries to keep his breathing even despite his realization of Danny's proximity. Even though he can feel the skin of his neck heating up were Danny's hand rests.  
“I'm alright now “ Steve says quietly thinking Danny will stand and step back and let Steve get himself the rest of the way together.  
He has a moment of regret were he wishes he were a braver man who could risk everything and just lean in. But he cant because that risk is too high of losing what he has, too much for a man who has already lost so much. He tips his head back so Danny will get the hint and let him go.  
Instead though Danny is leaning with him getting closer. He hesitates a moment looking right at Steve his breath puffing out against Steve’s cheek giving him a chance to pull away make good his escape. Instead Steve leans in because what the hell he's a Seal and they aren't afraid of fuck all. There is nothing here to be afraid of besides. It's just Danny.


End file.
